Popular Posts

Thursday, July 30, 2015

“Dinner with a sex worker and begging child”



I sat at the corner burger place in Addis eating a burger. The place is close to where I live and super cheap, the ideal pit stop from my long day. It is also frequented as the corner where sex workers stand. When I arrived for a quick bite, no one was there and I was in the middle of reading a novel and nibbling at my burger. A boy, about 10, approaches me asking if I wanted to buy any of his boxed tissues. He wore worn out khakis, a red striped shirt and carried out a haggard grain sack turned bag. He has soft features and long lashes that make him appear with both childlike gaiety and transforming into an adolescent. I politely decline on the tissues, perfectly content with using toilet paper as my all purpose tissue. The boy sits on the muddy concrete in the corner. He doesn’t yet have a name in my world but I’ve seen too many like him. These kids that grow up far before they are ready and are sent to shine shoes, sell trinkets, or worse, beg for money and trained to incite pity and pleading. I’d always been internally torn, wanting to help these kids and their mothers but also realizing that children begging and succeeding in obtaining money only further perpetuates the vicious cycle. Also, it’s not entirely certain that the money collected would benefit the kids themselves, particularly if there is a sort of child-begging pimp or parents that are addicts involved.

So I reconciled a long time ago in my life to buy these children food if possible. And also to get to know them. The thing I love most about working with children is their ability to dream unrestrained and they are not yet buckled to society and life’s expectations. Children that are beggars are no different in that regard, but they also carry a heavy burden on their shoulders that kids shouldn’t have to carry. When I’ve invited kids out to lunch, I ask the question that I ask of all people of all ages and from all backgrounds, “what is your dream job?” One boy in Dar-es-Salaam desired to be a boat captain, a Moroccan child wanted to work in a mosque, another boy in Port-au-Prince dreamt of becoming a construction engineer. I feel that a person’s vision and their dreams reveals so much about them and their core. Each time I ask a begging child this question, it both inspires and crushes me. I love their ability to dream beyond their circumstance and yet aware that poverty will severely limit nearly every opportunity in their lives. I suppose I do this as my personal method of giving without pity but I hope to give with seeing this individual as a whole person with their own pain and hope and life story.

The boy in Addis mumbles something after I decline on the tissues and I ask if he would also like a hamburger. He nods and I beckon him to sit next to me. He sits two chairs away, keeping his distance but complying. As we wait for the burger to be grilled, a sex worker taking the first shift of the night sits in the other direction one chair away from me. I ask the boy his name and he replies in his perfected Amharic that sounds like a Spanish tongue roll, “Brook.” My not-so-perfect firingi ears asks him to repeat his name like three times. The sex worker chimes in and annunciates every syllable for my slowness. Next I try to ask for his age in English. He doesn’t understand and the sex worker chimes in again and translates. She continues to translate my barrage of questions that is probably annoying both the boy being interrogated and the translator. It starts to rain and then pour in the chilly night, being rainy season in Addis, but our conversations are becoming less awkward and forced. I take out my Amharic Lonely Planet guide and ask if Brook likes music and reading. He replies yes to the music and no to the latter. He does not have a house but does go to school. He waves across the way and I look to see another boy, the same age as him toting tissue boxes for sale. He nods when I ask if that is his friend. I show him pictures of my friends and a view of the secluded LA wilderness that I call home.

I also strike up a conversation with the sex worker. She sips a macchiato as I learn that she is from Addis and curiously leans in when I show Brook pictures from my phone. Her and I laugh about something that I can’t quite recall. I realize that she too is a person with her hopes, dreams and stories. People are quick to judge sex workers and objectify this population both physically and morally, but they are human and it’s certainly not my duty to lay prejudice on anyone. My lack of talent for hearing and retaining names, however, leaves me at a loss of remembering her name immediately after she tells me. Still, I’ve found that a common language exists in humanity that does not have a name but is expressed in a smile, humor or kind eyes. Her English is functional and we have simple exchanges but she didn’t understand my question to Brook about his dream job until I explain it in a few more different ways – making charade hand gestures and saying big, adult, man, job, work, doctor, lawyer – and then it clicks and she asks him. Brook wants to be a doctor, it may have also been suggested to him but hey, that’s a great ambition regardless. I smile and give him a high five. I show him a picture of me working with doctors – why? I have no idea except to signal that they’re cool in my book. My words get translated when I tell him that I think he is very smart. As my translator comrade gets a call to begin her night of work, the hamburger finally arrives. Brook asks for it to be wrapped up to go, presumably to share with others. The sex worker enters a car in the darkness of the night. I shake Brook’s small hand and tell him, “goodbye Dr. Brook.” 

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Kampot - childhood stories


Bedtime stories my dad would recite to us at night painted imagery of his home country, his loving mother and the large family and friends in his small home town by the river. Cambodia was where the river carried my dad, skipping school to swim across the banks. Sketches of his two-story corner home and the palm trees that adorned the water bank would take place with colored pencils on our dining table if we begged dad to draw it out. There were crickets caught and beta fish snatched from shallow rice paddies. I tried to envision the mountains and clouds in the distance. This is how my dad would keep the memory of his childhood alive and also his parents and 5 sisters. As a child, I never understood the sadness in dad's voice, wanting to make it ok. I never realized how detached from loss, his loss, as a kid as I do now as an adult.

I imagined it would be both beautiful and tragic visiting Kampot, Cambodia. It's been a trip that we as a family would take "one day." I sort of decided the one day was now and I would take the flight and 9 hour bus ride myself. As the bus neared Kampot, I could already smell the durian and my eyes watered, the sleep river town looked just like the stories and sketches. It was rainy and the dimples of the river centered the entire town. Emerald green mountains embraced by fluffy white clouds stood in the distance. I felt immediately at peace in Kampot. Everyone moved slowly and there was a relaxing ambience afloat amongst tourists and locals.

With my dad's help, I wove up and down the streets and found the exact house he grew up in. His talented sketches were accurate and the home is now a market and an up and coming French wine bar. I looked up at the windows and imagine what my dad as a child would peer out to. As the monsoon rains poured, it soaked and cleansed me. As I sat inside my local Cambodian stay and watched the rain pour some more, I began to write creatively and to write poetry, something I've seldom done in the past few years. I realize the connection I had to this town and my dad's joy and sorrow, it was the tapestry of connection with my dad's family. It is their love that lives on in my dad that lives on in me and here I was seeing the actual atmosphere of it all a generation before I was born.

 The river so often talked about by my dad where he would throw off his school uniform and swim across the bank.

 Dad's childhood home that housed him, his parents, 5 sisters and their children.

 Traversing a little rainy alley way leading to my AirBnB stay.

 French influence is seen and felt like the terrace of this cafe.

My lovely AirBnB place which is nestled among local houses. So I awoke to roosters, clanging, breakfast making at 6am - loved it!